Existence

~Existence~



Part One: Restless



Restless as the face of the clock reads 2 then 3 then 4 am

I stare at a blank screen as the incessant blinking on the cursor laughs in my face

Seeming to curse me to a sleepless night

Sleep comes slowly as it seems to tease me before the disturbing silence engulfs me

The scream of the alarm comes all too soon

Piercing through my dream world like a dagger against my chest

My bloodshot eyes open to disappointment

My mind churns sluggishly of the perfect world in my dreams

How I long to return to it

Reality holds too few comforts to compare with my blissful fantasy

Why must this dark world bring pain?

I trudge through my day with a disappointing amount of happy moments

At least they are there at all

I return to my solace and indulge in the music that reflects my feelings

I loath the night and darkness it brings

And the cycle begins again

Escape is far from my grasp



Part Two: a reason



Life is still worth living

But motivation I lack

The friends I love and my God are my life

Without them I would have little existence

A zombie in the world run by man

The four walls of my life would crush me without the strength they give

My life meaningless without them

Without them nothing

Without them death

Silence

Pain

I have them

I have life

I have a reason